I used to have a hamster…

Why I bought this thing, I don’t know. Probably because my wife said something along the lines of, «Oh, wow, he’s so cute. Let’s buy it. It’s not expensive at all.» Hamster really was not expensive — only 70 rubles. But the hamster in addition was sold cage, feeder, watering trough, house, wheel, sawdust, nuts … Starter kit only 800 rubles. Plus the regular purchase of consumables — sawdust and munchies.

The creature was extremely unfriendly. All attempts to establish some kind of contact at the human hamster, I feed you, you love me — failed. Hamsters really do not love anyone.

The creature was remarkably stupid and fearless. At first, not knowing these properties of it, we tried to let it out of the cage «to take a walk». The hamster would climb as high as possible, for example on my shoulder. And from there bravely jumped into the abyss, such as on the tile floor.

The creature turned out to be remarkably resilient. Not only did he not crash, but he lived almost three years, although the seller at the pet store swore that these hamsters do not live more than two years.

The creature turned out to be a remarkably tenacious amateur athlete. During the first year and a half of its life, every night the same routine was repeated: the hamster climbed up the wall of the cage, climbed over the ceiling on its front legs, with its back to the opposite wall, tried to catch it, but it never succeeded, and it would fall down. He fell loudly. With a bassy «boom-boom» sound. And we were forced to fall asleep to the endless repetition: «Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, boom! Top-top-top-top-top, boom-boom…!»

The creature was a rare hoarder. In spite of the fact that he never ran out of peanuts and seeds in his trough, each time when we did a general cleaning of his dwelling we found out that his house was a little more than half full of peanuts. We used to joke that these supplies would keep us alive in a hungry year.

The creature was uncommonly greedy. As he was cleaning the cage, he squealed hysterically and tried to chase us away. His angry squealing could be heard: «Where are you bitches taking all the hard-earned goods? Those are my nuts!»

The hamster died like a real hamster — lying face down in his bowl. At night, quietly, quietly, without disturbing anyone.

I, a 35-year-old man at the time, cried like a little baby.

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I used to have a hamster…
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