I thought I knew what love was.
I thought I’d found it in Daniel.
We met in the most banal way possible – through mutual friends at a party.
He was charming, funny and had such a confident charisma that people were drawn to him.
At first, being with him was like living in an affair.
But as time went on, something started to go…wrong.
It started with little things, almost imperceptible.
A caustic remark about the way I dressed.
A joke about my ‘weird’ way of speaking.
At first I just laughed.
‘That’s his humour,’ I told myself.
But then the comments got worse.
One day we were at a bar with his friends and Daniel decided to play the part of the comedian.
‘Yeah, Emma’s so bad at cooking, I swear she’d even burn water,’ he joked, pushing his friend Mark.
The group laughed.
I strained a smile.
It wasn’t pleasant, but I told myself not to be too sensitive.
Then, another time, we were at his best friend’s dinner.
Someone mentioned career aspirations, and before I could say anything, Daniel interrupted:
‘Emma wants to start her own business but, let’s be honest, she changes her plans every fortnight.’
Everyone laughed.
I sat there, feeling my stomach and chest clench.
Then I started to notice a pattern.
When we were alone, he was sweet – attentive, affectionate, supportive.
But in front of his friends?
I was becoming his private joke.
At first, I didn’t say anything.
I tried to convince myself that I was exaggerating.
Maybe he didn’t mean it.
Maybe I was being overly sensitive.
But the more it went on, the more I felt like a joke, not a girl.
The turning point was a game night with his friends.
I was learning to play chess, and Daniel asked me to play.
I was nervous, but excited.
Halfway through, I made a wrong move.
‘That’s why I always have to explain everything to her,’ he said, shaking his head.
Laughter rolled through the room.
Daniel’s friend Josh even patted him on the back.
I felt my face burn.
I wasn’t just embarrassed.
I was humiliated.
I looked at Daniel, expecting him to notice how much his words had hurt me.
But he was too busy enjoying his laughter.
Then I made the decision that enough was enough.
I didn’t react immediately.
Instead, I smiled, supported him, and pretended I wasn’t hurt.
But inside, I began to formulate a plan.
If he wanted to turn me into a joke, I would teach him a lesson.
The next week, I asked him to invite his friends over for dinner.
He was thrilled.
‘I love that you’re finally starting to bond with them,’ he said.
‘Ouch,’ he said, not even trying to hide his smile.
‘Card Player.’
I was on the verge of losing my temper when I heard a chuckle from down the corridor.
Leah, Dave’s newly blushing fiancée, was standing there, looking like a cat that had caught the cream.
‘Is this seat available?’ – She purred and sat right on Dave’s lap.
Well, I’m not a prude, but the way they were acting, you’d have thought they’d forgotten they were on a plane full of people.
The laughter, the whispering, those… other sounds.
It felt like I was in a bad romantic comedy, only without the ability to change the channel.
I tried to concentrate on my book, my film, or, at the very least, my safety instructions-just to avoid listening to these lovebirds‘ performance.
But after an hour of their antics, I couldn’t take it anymore.
‘That’s enough,’ I muttered, waving to a passing stewardess.
‘Time to fight fire with fire.’
As the stewardess approached, Dave and Leah continued their sweet numbers, even louder than the fake ‘smiley faces’ and sweet words.
‘Is there a problem, sir?’ – The flight attendant asked, giving us a look full of concern and distrust.
I took a deep breath, ready to tell her everything.
This was going to be good.
‘A problem? Oh, where do I start?’ – I said loud enough to be heard by the surrounding passengers.
‘These two have turned this flight into their own personal wedding suite.’
The flight attendant raised an eyebrow, her gaze travelling between me and the couple snuggled together.
I continued, counting down on my fingers:
‘We’ve had incessant coughing, a film without headphones, a rain of snack crumbs, and now…’
I pointed to Leah sitting on Dave’s lap, ‘this ladence situation.’
Dave’s face turned red.
‘We just got married!’ – He objected.
‘We just want to sit together.’
The flight attendant’s professional smile disappeared, giving way to an expression of annoyance.
‘Sir, Madam, I understand that you are celebrating, but there are rules we must adhere to.’
Leah winked coquettishly.
‘Would you mind making an exception? It’s our special day.’
I couldn’t resist the remark.
‘It’s been their ‘special day’ for an hour.’
The flight attendant straightened her uniform and turned to the lovebirds.
‘I’m sorry, but I can’t make an exception.
It violates airline policy to have an adult passenger sitting on another passenger’s lap.
It’s a safety issue.’
Dave’s smug smile faded.
‘But-’
‘No buts,’ the flight attendant interrupted him.
‘And since you didn’t pay for this seat but were transferred here, you need to follow the rules.’
I bit my lip to keep from smiling.
The sheet turned over, and it was more than satisfactory.
The stewardess turned to Leah.
‘Madam, I need to ask you to return to your original seat.’
Leah’s eyes widened.
‘Are you serious? We’re married!’
‘Congratulations,’ the stewardess replied, her tone so that this conversation was complete.
‘But marriage does not exempt you from the airline’s safety rules.
Please return to your seat.’
Dave tried to interject.
‘Look, we’re sorry if we’ve disturbed anyone.
We’ll sit quietly, we promise.’
The flight attendant shook her head.
‘That’s not good enough.
Because of your disturbing behaviour, you’re both going to have to move to economy class at the back of the plane.’
Dave’s face went pale.
‘Both of us? But I’m-’
‘You were transferred as a favour,’ the stewardess interrupted him.
‘A favour you have abused.
Now gather your things.’
As Dave and Leah reluctantly gathered their things, I heard scraps of their whispered argument.
‘This is all your fault,’ Leah hissed.
‘My fault? You’re…’
‘That’s enough,’ the flight attendant interrupted them.
‘Please return to your seats.’
As they, blushing and avoiding my gaze, walked past, I couldn’t resist one last comment.
‘Have a nice honeymoon holiday,’ I said, moving my fingers in a playful gesture.
Dave’s gaze could have melted metal, but I just smiled and leaned back happily in my now relaxed chair.
The flight attendant turned to me.
‘Is there anything else you need, sir?’
I grinned as if I had just won the lottery.
‘Just some peace and quiet. And maybe a celebratory drink?’
As the stewardess left to get my drink, I was overcome with a brief attack of guilt.
Maybe I had been too harsh?
Ah no, I thought, they had set it up for themselves.
An elderly man on the other side of the aisle caught my eye and gave me a thumbs-up.
‘Well done, son,’ he laughed.
‘Reminds me of my first wife.
We were young and stupid too, but at least we knew how to behave in public.’
I smiled back.
‘Thank you. I was beginning to think I was in a hidden cell.’
The woman next to him leaned in.
‘Oh dear, you did us all a favour.
I was on the verge of shoving the guy’s pretzels right down my throat.’
We all laughed together, and the tension from earlier disappeared.
It was nice to have a few allies.
The stewardess returned with my drink, a small bottle of whiskey and a can of Coke.
‘On the house,’ she said with a wink.
‘Consider it a thank you for your patience.’
I raised the bottle for a toast.
‘To smooth flights and karma,’ I said loud enough for everyone to hear.
A choral ‘Cheers!’ erupted from the nearest seats.
As I mixed my drink, I wondered what had become of Dave and Leah.
Were they sitting back there plotting revenge?
Or had they finally realised how ridiculous their behaviour had been?
My thoughts were interrupted by a sound from the loudspeaker.
The captain’s voice boomed through the cockpit.
‘Ladies and gentlemen, turbulence is expected.
Please return to your seats and buckle up.’
I grinned to myself.
More turbulence?
After what we had just experienced?
The plane started to rock and I heard a shriek from behind me.
I turned around.
There was Dave, trying desperately to keep his tray from spilling into his lap.
I turned around again and took a sip of my whiskey and coke.
‘Karma is a witch!’ – I muttered.
The turbulence calmed down and the flight fell into silence.
Just when I thought nothing more was going to happen, there was a noise in the back of the plane.
‘I have to go to the bathroom!’
It was Leah’s voice, shrill and demanding.
I turned round and saw her in the aisle, Dave standing right behind her.
A distressed flight attendant, different from the one who had helped me earlier, tried to calm her down.
‘Ma’am, please return to your seat.
The seat belt sign is still on,’ the flight attendant explained.
‘But this is an emergency!’ – Leah wailed, while doing a little dance for emphasis.
I caught the older man’s gaze.
He winked at me and was clearly enjoying what was happening.
Dave stepped in, his voice gushing honeyed with feigned sympathy.
‘Look, my wife has a medical condition.
She really needs to use the toilet in the front.
The one in the back is…occupied.’
The flight attendant looked confused.
‘I understand, but rules are rules.
You need to wait until the captain turns off the seatbelt sign.’
Leah’s face contorted.
‘But I can’t wait! Please, I’m begging you!’
I had to hand it to her…she was a real actress.
If I didn’t know her better, I might have even felt sorry for her.
The stewardess sighed and seemed to give up.
‘Okay, but quickly. And then go straight back to your seats, okay?’
Dave and Leah nodded vigorously and were already trying to get past her to the front.
As they approached my row, I couldn’t help myself.
I stood up and blocked their path.
‘Wait a minute, guys. Didn’t we already discuss this?
Back on the plane, remember?’ – I said loud enough for the surrounding passengers to hear.
Dave’s face darkened.
‘Mind your own business, mate. This doesn’t concern you.’
I raised an eyebrow.
‘Oh, I think it does concern me.
After all, we don’t want any more…bother, right?’
Leah took the floor, her voice sweet:
‘Please, sir. It’s just a short trip to the bathroom.
We promise we’ll be right back.’
I looked at her, then at Dave, then at the approaching stewardess who let them pass.
Time to end this farce.
‘You know what? You’re right. It’s just a trip to the loo,’ I said, stepping aside.
‘Go easy.’
Dave and Leah exchanged triumphant glances as they walked past me.
But I wasn’t done yet.
I turned to the stewardess with a smile.
‘Sorry, I couldn’t help overhearing.
You said those two might be up here?’
The flight attendant’s brow wrinkled.
‘Well, I…they said it was an emergency.’
I nodded sympathetically.
‘I see. And do you know that those two were explicitly told to stay in the back of the plane because of disruptive behaviour earlier?’
The flight attendant’s eyes widened.
‘No, I was not told that.’
At that moment, the flight attendant who had dealt with Dave and Leah earlier appeared.
‘Is there a problem?’ – She asked, her gaze falling on the couple.
Dave’s face went pale.
Leah’s ‘emergency’ dance suddenly stopped.
I stepped back and left the professionals to deal with it.
‘I think those two were about to leave,’ I said, not hiding the triumphant undertone in my voice.
The original flight attendant turned to Dave and Leah, her face turning serious.
‘I thought I made myself clear earlier. Back to your seats. Now.’
‘But…’ – Leah began, her show starting to fall apart.
‘No buts,’ the stewardess interrupted her.
‘Or do you want us to discuss it with the marshal?’
That was it.
Without further ado, Dave and Leah crept back to their seats in economy class, defeated.
As the plane began to descend for landing in California, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction.
The rest of the flight was wonderfully calm and I was more than ready to see my family.
The captain’s voice came over the speakers:
‘Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our descent for landing at Los Angeles International Airport.
Please make sure your seats are upright and your seat belts are buckled.’
As we rolled to the gate, I gathered my belongings and was glad to leave the plane.
The flight attendant, who had become our saviour, approached me.
‘Thank you for your patience today,’ she said with a genuine smile.
‘We hope that despite the… previous worries, you enjoyed the flight.’
I smiled back.
‘Thanks to you, yes. You handled the situation perfectly.’
She brightened at the compliment.
‘Have a good day, sir!’
I stood up and stretched after my long flight.
As I walked down the aisle towards the exit, I noticed Dave and Leah still avoiding everyone’s gaze.
For a moment, I felt compassion.
They were young, probably just too excited about their honey trip.
But then I remembered their defiant behaviour, and that feeling of compassion vanished.
As I walked past their row, I couldn’t resist one last parting remark.
‘I hope you’ve learnt something today. Enjoy your honeymoon!’
Dave’s face took on an impressive shade of red, but he remained silent.
Smart decision.
And so I left the plane feeling victorious, ready to enjoy the rest of my trip.
As I entered the terminal, I couldn’t help but laugh.
It had been a hell of a flight, but in the end, dignity and a little karma won out.
I saw my wife and child waiting for me, their faces lit up when they saw me.
All thoughts of Dave and Leah were gone.
I was home and that was all that mattered.
