Seven unexpected ways in which people judge your character
We’ve all heard the saying: ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’. But, however much we might want to believe otherwise, in real life people do this all the time. What’s more, a first impression of someone is often formed within just a few seconds of meeting them.
Whether we realise it or not, our brains are constantly picking up on subtle cues and using them to draw quick conclusions about those around us.
Psychologists explain that this habit isn’t always a sign of unfairness or superficiality. To a large extent, it has its roots in the evolution of the human brain.
Quickly assessing those around us once helped our ancestors understand who they were dealing with: a trustworthy person, a dangerous stranger, a friendly ally or a potential threat. The modern world has long since changed, but the brain still relies on many of these old ‘shortcuts’.
Kelly Ziegler, a certified specialist in applied positive psychology, explains that the brain naturally seeks stability and predictability. To create a sense of certainty, it often draws conclusions based on very limited information. For example, if someone seems rude, the mind may immediately label them as such and advise you to keep your distance from them in future.
Psychotherapist Jacob Brown notes that social survival also plays an important role. People have always lived in groups, and understanding one’s place within such a group was vital for safety. Like animals in a pack, people are constantly assessing social cues, often without even realising it.
As a result, we tend to draw conclusions from small details: appearance, behaviour, manner of speech and even body language. Some of these assumptions may turn out to be correct. Others may be completely wrong. But research shows that certain traits do indeed influence how others perceive us, much more so than it might seem.
Here are seven surprisingly simple things that can shape people’s opinions of you.
The temperature of your hands
At first glance, this sounds strange, but even cold hands can influence how others perceive you.
A study published in the journal Science showed that the physical sensation of warmth can alter social perception. Participants who held a warm drink were more likely to perceive other people as generous and caring compared to those who held a cold drink.
Because of this subconscious association, warm hands are often linked to warmth of character. Cold hands, on the other hand, can sometimes lead those around you to perceive you as more reserved, aloof or less approachable, even if this is not the case at all.
Of course, the temperature of someone’s hands has nothing to do with their character. But first impressions are rarely based solely on logic. They often arise from barely perceptible cues that the brain automatically tries to interpret.
Your name
Surprisingly, your name can influence how people view you even before they meet you in person.
A study conducted by researchers at Syracuse University showed that people often associate certain names with specific personality traits, age and levels of competence.
Participants perceived some names as warmer and friendlier, whilst others were seen as more serious, authoritative or professional. Names also evoked age-related stereotypes. For example, some were more often associated with older people, whilst others were linked to younger people.
Such assessments are not always fair, but they show just how strongly personal experience influences perception. If a person has pleasant memories associated with a particular name, they may unconsciously feel more warmly towards a new acquaintance who shares that name.
How you maintain eye contact
A person’s gaze speaks volumes, even when they are silent.
Research shows that confident and calm eye contact is often associated with self-confidence, reliability and inner stability. A person who looks their conversation partner comfortably in the eye during a conversation is usually perceived as more open, confident and socially adept.
On the other hand, those who frequently look away may be perceived as nervous, shy or insecure. This does not necessarily mean that such conclusions are correct. Many introverts simply feel uncomfortable with prolonged eye contact, especially with people they do not know well.
Nevertheless, as eye contact plays a huge role in communication, people often use it as a quick guide when forming an opinion about someone’s personality.
What you say about other people
One of the quickest ways for those around you to assess your character is to listen to how you speak about others.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re talking about colleagues, friends, relatives or complete strangers. Many people automatically assume that your words reveal, first and foremost, something about yourself.
Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology showed that people who describe others in positive terms are more often perceived by those around them as happier, kinder and more emotionally stable.
There is also a flip side. Constant criticism, negativity and gossip can lead others to think that these are the very qualities that characterise you, rather than the people you are talking about.
In many cases, those around you learn more about you from your assessments than about the person you are discussing.
Your facial features
Most people want to believe that they judge others by their actions rather than their appearance. But in reality, the brain begins to form an opinion even before a person has uttered a single word.
Researchers at New York University have found that people often make instant assumptions about a person’s character simply by looking at their face. Interestingly, such conclusions are usually based not on facts, but on past experience.
For example, a person with soft or more youthful facial features may be perceived as friendly, safe or trustworthy. Whereas someone whose facial expression appears stern is sometimes considered intimidating, cold or less approachable. None of these assumptions has to be true, but the brain likes to rely on familiar patterns when faced with new information.
Mental health counsellor Tzlil Herzberg explains that many such judgements are formed from beliefs we absorb throughout our lives. Family experiences, culture, the media and our social environment gradually teach us to read faces in our own way.
The problem is that these instant assessments can be completely wrong.
Someone who looks stern may, in fact, turn out to be incredibly kind. Conversely, someone who seems friendly isn’t always as open as they appear. But first impressions form so quickly that many people don’t even realise they’ve already drawn a conclusion.
That is precisely why experts advise keeping an open mind when meeting new people. A face can tell a story, but it almost never tells the whole story.
Your voice
People don’t need to listen to you for long before they start forming an opinion about who you are.
Researchers from the University of Aix-Marseille and the University of Glasgow have found that listeners are able to draw fairly detailed conclusions based solely on a person’s voice. During the study, participants were played recordings of strangers saying just one word — ‘Hello’ or ‘Hola’ — and were then asked to describe those people.
Even with such minimal information, listeners confidently assessed the speakers on qualities such as confidence, trustworthiness, competence and a tendency to dominate.
Think about it for a moment: most of us do this every day.
A calm and steady voice often gives the impression of confidence and reliability. Hasty or trembling speech can be perceived as a sign of nervousness. One person might find a loud voice assertive, whilst another might find it aggressive.
It is particularly interesting how quickly such impressions form. Sometimes just a few seconds are enough.
Of course, the characteristics of a voice do not automatically reveal a person’s true character. Stress, tiredness, nervousness and even illness can affect the sound of a voice. But the voice conveys a great deal of emotional information, which is why people naturally use it as a clue when assessing those around them.
Next time you hear someone’s voice for the first time, pay attention to the conclusions your brain draws even before you actually get to know the person.
Your appearance
Few topics spark as much debate as judgements based on appearance. Most people agree that appearance should not define a person’s character. Yet research shows time and again that it does influence first impressions.
A study published in 2009 showed that people could predict certain personality traits quite accurately simply by looking at photographs of strangers.
Participants were shown over a hundred photographs of people they had never met. In some photos, the people had neutral facial expressions and were in controlled poses. In others, they looked more natural: smiling, relaxing or expressing genuine emotions.
The results were unexpected.
Even when looking at neutral photographs, participants were often able to make fairly accurate guesses about certain personality traits. But when the people in the photos looked more natural and expressive, the accuracy of their assessments increased significantly.
Participants guessed traits such as extroversion, openness, sociability and even loneliness more often than the researchers had expected.
This does not mean that appearance tells the whole truth. Not at all.
Rather, it suggests that people pick up on a multitude of subtle cues without even realising it. Posture, facial expressions, personal grooming, clothing and overall appearance — all these factors combine to form the impression a person leaves behind.
To a large extent, appearance does not act as a single decisive factor, but rather as a whole set of small clues.
Why do we judge people so quickly?
Although it may seem unfair, assessing those around us is a natural part of human nature.
Every day, the brain processes a huge amount of information. To cope with this flow, it uses simplifications. These mental shortcuts help us make decisions more quickly, especially when we meet someone for the first time.
But there is a downside to this mechanism: first impressions are far from always accurate.
Someone with cold hands may be caring and very attentive. Someone who avoids eye contact may simply be shy. And a person with a serious expression may well have a wonderful sense of humour that only reveals itself through close interaction.
The main thing is to realise that a first impression is merely a starting point, not a final judgement.
People are almost always far more complex than the assumptions we make about them in the first few minutes of interaction.
Whether it’s a voice, a name, a handshake or how a person looks from a distance, those around you are constantly picking up clues about who they think you are.
Some of these conclusions are drawn consciously. Most are drawn automatically.
It is important to remember that it is impossible to fully control how others perceive you. Everyone brings their own experiences, preconceptions, expectations and personal associations to any interaction.
But there are other things you can control: how you treat people, how you communicate, and how you present yourself to the world.
After all, a first impression may open the door, but it is your actions and character that determine what people will think of you once they really get to know you better.
