- Taste buds!?
My throat was sore, and when I tried to get a good look at it in the mirror, I noticed these big pink spots all over the back of my tongue.
I worried about it for a whole week, wondering what it was and why it wasn’t going away, until my mum got so worried that she took me to the doctor.
After examining my throat and tongue, he said that what I had seen were my taste buds. I had never seen my doctor, an incredibly stoic man, smile so broadly. My family will never let me live this down.
- An unfortunate tuft made the doctor wonder
I went to the doctor when I was about eight months pregnant. At that point, I had VERY bad gas, and if I tried to hold it in, it would become painful after a while.
As I sat in the doctor’s office, I felt the urge to fart. I held it in for a while, thinking that if I farted, the doctor would walk in at any moment. Fifteen minutes passed, and nothing happened.
Then I decided to let it go. It was the tiniest fart, but it smelled really bad. Thirty seconds later, the doctor walked in and asked what that smell was.
- It took a different turn
When I turned 30, I suddenly became a hypochondriac. It seemed to me that EVERYTHING was cancer or something worse. So, when I went to the doctor for my annual check-up, I mentioned that I had pain in the left side of my chest.
I asked, ‘I know it’s rare, but could it be breast cancer?’ (I’m a man, by the way). The doctor examined me seriously and then asked with a straight face, ‘Is the pain worse when you have your period?’ That pretty much ended my year of hypochondria.
- Awkward hugging failure
I hadn’t seen my doctor in over a year, and he met me outside the examination room before I went in. He spread his arms, and I was a little surprised.
I started to move to hug him, but he stepped back a little and made it clear that he was just gesturing politely for me to enter the room before him. With my head down, I marched into the room.
- An emotional visit to the hospital
I had a full-blown panic attack when I was sent to the kidney ward of the hospital. I cried for an hour because I didn’t want to be examined. The most interesting thing about this story? I was seventeen years old. I probably should have paid more attention in class.
- My sports injury turned into a normal conversation
This isn’t a specific case, but I often get sports injuries that hurt a lot until I see a doctor. But the appointment ends up being a normal conversation, as it always does when I go to the doctor.
I say, ‘It hurts so much!’ The doctor replies, ‘Does it hurt when I do this?’ I answer, ‘No.’ Despite additional pressure and questions, I invariably say that it doesn’t hurt. The doctor concludes, ‘I think everything will be fine.’
- I accidentally kissed the doctor’s hand
I took my son (he is one year old) to the doctor to check him for an ear infection. He got upset when the doctor examined him. All this time, I hold him on my lap, whisper in his ear and try to calm him down.
When the doctor looked into his ear, I reassured my son by kissing his head. Unfortunately, the doctor had just put his hand there to hold him in place.
I gently pressed my lips right onto his hand! I pulled away without saying a word, and we both pretended nothing had happened.
- From giggles to gas
When I was fourteen, I got pimples on my face and started to look like a human pizza. My mum took me to the doctor, and everything started off normally.
The doctor was an elderly woman in her fifties, and she seemed nice. But something made me feel confused when she started gesturing towards her crotch while talking. ‘Does anything hurt here?’
You can probably guess what happened; with the sense of humour of a fourteen-year-old teenager, I started laughing so hard that I tried to stop myself by coughing. But the coughing made me fart.
- Festive hymns added a cheerful note to my visit to the gynaecologist
I’m a student, so I always make my appointments during the winter holidays. During this season, Christmas songs play throughout the office.
Towards the end of my appointment, it was time for my smear test. I climbed onto the table and opened my mouth wide just as the choir began singing ‘O Come, All Ye Faithful.’
- The bizarre dentist’s chair that made me giggle
I’ve never done anything incredibly embarrassing, but there is one thing that makes me uncomfortable when I visit the dentist. I don’t mind them fiddling around in my mouth, and I can tolerate discomfort, scratches and so on.
The problem is that when the dentist/hygienist pumps the lever on the chair, it goes up in little jumps. I can’t help it, so I start giggling. I know it was cute when I was six, but now I’m twenty-six and I look really weird.