Dave’s face turned red. ‘We’re newlyweds!’ – he protested. ‘We just want to sit together.’
The flight attendant’s professional mask slid off for a moment, revealing a flash of irritation. ‘Sir, ma’am, I understand you’re celebrating, but there are rules we have to follow.’
Leah flapped her eyelashes. ‘Can’t you make an exception? It’s our special day.’
I couldn’t help but interject. ‘It’s been their ‘special day’ for the last hour.’
The stewardess adjusted her uniform and turned to the two lovers. ‘I’m afraid I can’t. According to airline regulations, an adult passenger should not sit on the lap of another. It’s a safety issue.’
Dave’s smug grin faded. ‘But…’
‘No buts,’ the flight attendant interrupted him. ‘And since you didn’t pay for this upgraded seat, but were transferred here, you must strictly follow all the rules.’
I had to bite my lip to keep from smirking. The tables turned, and it felt really good.
The stewardess turned to Leah. ‘Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to return to your original seat.’
Leah’s eyes widened. ‘You can’t be serious! We’re married!’
‘Congratulations,’ the stewardess replied, and it was clear from her tone that she’d had enough of talking. ‘But marriage does not exempt you from following aviation safety regulations. Please return to your seat.’
Dave tried to cut in. ‘Look, we’re sorry if we disturbed anyone. We’ll be quiet now, we promise.’
The stewardess shook her head. ‘I’m afraid that’s not good enough. Because of your disruptive behaviour, you’ll both have to move to the back of the plane in economy class.’
The colour disappeared from Dave’s face. ‘Both of us? But I paid…’
‘You’ve been upgraded out of courtesy,’ the flight attendant interrupted. ‘A courtesy you abused. Now, please gather your things.’
As Dave and Leah reluctantly gathered their things, I caught scraps of their argument, which they carried on in whispers.
‘This is all your fault,’ Leah hissed.
‘My fault? You’re the one who…’
‘That’s enough,’ the flight attendant intervened. ‘Please move to the back of the plane.’
As they walked past, blushing and avoiding looking each other in the eye, I couldn’t resist a parting remark.
‘Enjoy your honeymoon,’ I said, wiggling my fingers in a joking manner.
Dave’s gaze could have melted steel, but I only smiled and settled back into my now quiet seat.
The stewardess turned to me. ‘Is there anything else you need, sir?’
I grinned, feeling like I had just won the lottery. ‘Just some peace and quiet. And maybe a celebratory drink?’
When the flight attendant stepped aside to bring me a drink, I couldn’t shake off the guilt. Maybe I’d been too harsh? No, I brushed it off. It was their own fault.
An elderly gentleman across the aisle caught my eye and gave me a thumbs-up. ‘Well played, son,’ he grinned. ‘Reminds me of my first marriage. We were young and stupid too, but at least we knew how to behave in public.’
I grinned back. ‘Thanks. Otherwise I was starting to feel like I was in some sort of hidden camera show.’
The lady next to him leaned in. ‘Honey, you did us all a favour. I was just about ready to shove those pretzels down that boy’s throat myself.’
We all laughed, and the tension from earlier faded away. It was nice to feel that we had allies.
The stewardess returned with my drink, a mini bottle of whiskey and a can of Coke. ‘On the house,’ she said with a wink. ‘Consider it a thank you for your patience.’
I raised the bottle in a mock toast. ‘To peaceful flying and karma,’ I said loud enough for those around me to hear me. A chorus of ‘hear, hear!’ rose from the neighbouring seats.
As I mixed my drink, I couldn’t help but think about Dave and Leah. Were they huddled in the back room plotting revenge? Or had they finally realised how ridiculous they’d been acting?
My musings were interrupted by the beeping of the intercom.
The captain’s voice filled the cabin. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, turbulence is expected ahead. Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts.’
I grinned to myself. Turbulence? After what we had just been through?
The plane started to shake and I heard a shriek from behind me. I turned in my seat to look. Dave was there, desperately trying to hold his tray so he wouldn’t spill his drink in his lap.
I turned around, sipping my whiskey and coke. ‘Karma’s a witch!’ I muttered.
The turbulence subsided and the flight settled into a peaceful calm. I was just beginning to contemplate what might happen next when a commotion came up from behind me.
‘I have to go to the bathroom!’ It was Leah’s voice, shrill and insistent.
I turned round and saw her standing in the aisle with Dave right behind her. A flight attendant, not unlike the one who had helped me before, was trying to calm her down.
‘Ma’am, please return to your seat. The seatbelt sign is still on,’ the flight attendant explained.