She lit up the 1980s with her groundbreaking talent, skyrocketing from model to Oscar-winning actress almost overnight.
But behind the glitz and fame lay a hidden struggle — and a childhood brush with death at just 8 years old.
Amish-like upbringing
Few actors of the ’90s captured hearts and critical acclaim quite like this star. With her signature dimples and magnetic presence, she was Hollywood magic, turning every role into a showcase of raw talent from the very start of her acting journey.
Born on January 21, 1958, in Wareham, Massachusetts, she discovered early on that performing was her true calling.
“I was three years old, and how I even knew it was a job, I have no idea, because we were only allowed to watch Disney movies, which were animated.”
Her parents, Bill and Lucille, were practical, old-fashioned people — so much so that she has joked they “would have been Amish had they heard of being Amish.”
She and her older brother, Dan, were raised with a strong emphasis on politeness and proper behavior.
Looking back on her New England upbringing, she reflected, “My parents are both from Vermont, very old-fashioned New England. We heated our house with wood my father chopped. My mom grew all of our food. We were very underexposed to everything.”
When she almost died
But even though this actress grew up in a sheltered world, far from Hollywood’s glitz and scandals, she sadly faced some truly tragic and frightening experiences during her childhood.
For example, the star has revealed that she came frighteningly close to death at age 8 during a terrifying drive with her 99-year-old great-uncle Jack. As he weaved in and out of oncoming traffic, neither she nor her parents spoke up about his reckless driving, even as a car barreled toward them. At the very last moment, Jack corrected his path, narrowly avoiding a head-on crash. The ordeal left a lasting impression: always remain polite, no matter the situation.
This struggle – of being too polite to stand up for oneself – also serves as the through line of her’ 2022 memoir, ”Dying of Politeness”.
The horrible secret she was carrying around
In her book, she also opened up about a deeply traumatic event from her childhood: being molested by a neighbor while delivering his newspaper.
Like many who have endured similar abuse, she didn’t fully understand the severity of what happened until adulthood.
“It caused a lot of shame in me that that happened because I didn’t know what he was doing when he was touching me in that way. I didn’t know that it was wrong. I had no reaction to it, and then to see my mother’s reaction, [it was like], ‘Oh, my God, this was a big deal. I did something terribly wrong,” she told Vanity Fair.
Her mother confronted the neighbor, but no police report was ever filed.
”I knew that he was also to blame because she strolled up the street and told him never to touch me again and then told me never to go up the stairs to his apartment again. But she didn’t explain what had happened or why it was bad to do the thing that he was doing, so it just felt like this horrible secret that I was carrying around.”
”My big lesson in life was you can’t ever complain about anything,” she reflected.
”You can’t draw that kind of attention to yourself by complaining about something. So I didn’t talk about it, but I wanted to talk about it.”
Bullied by classmates
Another factor that shaped this actress during her youth was one of her physical traits: her height. In high school, she stood out as the tallest girl in her class — a distinction that, rather than boosting her confidence, often weighed on her self-esteem.
“They always wanted me on the basketball team, but I wasn’t too good,” she told The Chilliwack Progress in 1985. “Track was my thing. I did high jumps and hurdles on the girls’ team. But it was hopeless if you were taller than everybody else.
“I was tall from minute one,” she told The View. “I was very self-conscious and shy, and the last thing I wanted to do was stand out, and yet, every minute, I stood out.”
Being teased by classmates made things even harder.
“So, it was really tough growing up. The boys’ nickname for me in high school was Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, which, you know, is so charming,” she recalled, referencing the legendary Lakers star.
Outside of sports, she played the flute in the marching band, and during her senior year, she spent time studying abroad in Sweden, leaving her fluent in the language.
She continued her studies at New England College in New Hampshire before transferring to Boston University to major in drama. Her parents accepted her decision to study acting at Boston University without hesitation.
“I think they knew so little about it, and it would be incredibly rare and freaky if I was able to have a successful career,” she told The Gentle Woman.