Oleg, you can eat spicy food, can’t you? – she asked, pretending to be worried.
Oleg hesitated for a second, but quickly nodded:
Of course I can. I can eat anything. Nothing is too spicy for a real man.
I picked up on that:
Just be careful, these dishes are very spicy.
My words hurt him.
Don’t talk rubbish, Katya,’ he said, grimacing, and took the chopsticks to try a piece of beef at once.
At first he gave an exaggerated moan of pleasure to ‘show his manhood,’ but soon his face was as red as the streetlights above us. Sweat beaded on his forehead and he began breathing heavily through his nose.
Is everything all right? – Anya asked with feigned excitement.
‘Of course,’ he replied with his mouth full. – It’s delicious.
I was sure that Oleg wouldn’t want to take a refill after drinking a whole glass of coke, but Anya and I started eating with pleasure.
Well, not so sharp,’ Anya commented, looking at him with a smile. It was a trap.
I nodded and put another portion down.
Oleg, not wanting to give in, started eating again. He was already breathing heavily, but when asked if everything was all right, he only answered:
It clears the sinuses well, girls.
Meanwhile, his fingers flew up again to call the waiter and ask for another Coke.
Anya leaned towards me and whispered:
He’ll feel it later.
Oh, he will,’ I whispered back, smiling slyly.
While Oleg was showing his ‘manliness’ by eating spicy food, Mum and Lisa were at home with a rented truck and movers packing up Mum’s things.
They quickly packed her clothes, souvenirs, her favourite chair and even her toaster. I insisted they take what Mom had given Oleg over the years, saving up money: his favourite chair and tools.
But the highlight of the plan was Anya’s suggestion to remove all the rolls of toilet paper from the house.
Oleg was still blushing when we left the restaurant, grumbling about how Mum and Lisa never showed up. I suggested we stop by the house to see if everything was okay.
When we arrived, everything was already set up. The lorry had left and Mum and Lisa were hiding in the garage.
Oleg went into the house, and Anya and I followed behind. He managed to make only a couple of steps into the living room, when suddenly stopped.
Where is my chair? – He shouted, noticing the empty seat.
It’s gone,’ Anya replied carelessly, tilting her head. – Mum took hers.
Oleg turned to us, his face flushed again, but before he could say anything, his stomach rumbled loudly. He bent down, holding his stomach.
Oh, this spicy food seems…’ he began, looking around in a panic.
Is something wrong, Oleg? I hope it’s not the food,’ I said, flapping my eyes innocently.
He looked at me angrily, and then rushed down the corridor. A few seconds later we heard the sound of the bathroom door slamming shut.
Mum and Lisa came out of their hiding place just in time to hear Oleg screaming from the bathroom:
Where’s all the toilet paper!
I couldn’t take it anymore and laughed.
We took it with the chair! – I shouted out, laughing. – After all, it belongs to mum too!
WHAT!!! – He yelled back.
He still didn’t seem to get it, so Mum moved closer to the bathroom door.
I’M LEAVING YOU, OLEG! And I’m taking what’s mine,’ she said loudly. – Including my dignity.
Oleg groaned loudly from behind the door.
You can’t just leave like that! – he shouted.
LOOK AT ME! – replied Mum. – Although, you can hardly do it now, but enjoy a night in the bathroom!
My sisters and I looked at each other and burst out laughing.
Oleg groaned again, and there were other unpleasant noises, which was the signal for us to leave.
Let’s go, Mum,’ I said.
She nodded and walked out with us, thanking us for our help.
The next day, Oleg tried to call her. He left voicemails with fake apologies and pathetic excuses.
Lena, come on, be reasonable! You can’t just run away! – he begged.
But Mum didn’t answer or call back.
Instead, we had a better idea.
For his birthday, we sent Oleg a small gift. A packet of toilet paper, wrapped up as nicely as the one he’d given Mum.
Inside was a note:
‘For a real man.’
Mum moved in with Lisa, temporarily, while we all helped her get back on her feet. Anton was thrilled to hear about our plan and wished he had been there for her.
From what I’ve learnt, Oleg is still complaining to everyone. And Mum is finally living her life without his control, and we are incredibly proud of her.