Cousin Marcus coughed to hide his laugh. Even Jett looked down at his plate, trying not to smile. “Well, that’s not very nice,” Ivy snapped, turning red, her voice sharp.
“Oh, it’s just a joke,” I said, waving my hand. “You know, the kind people remember forever.”
When it was time for gifts, I was buzzing with excitement. Ivy opened the big one first.
She tore off the gold wrapping and lifted the flaps of the box. Out fell eight huge rolls of toilet paper, a big bottle of air freshener, bright yellow rubber gloves, and a shiny plunger with a red bow tied around the handle! The room exploded in laughter!
Even Aunt Lisa had to put her wine down to wipe her eyes. Ivy looked horrified! “I just wanted to make sure no one else has to deal with surprises like last Thanksgiving!” I said brightly, clapping my hands.
The room laughed even harder! Before she could say anything, I handed her the smaller box. “This one’s my favorite,” I said, softening my voice.
Inside was a little kit with a tiny plunger keychain, a small bottle of bathroom spray, and a mini roll of toilet paper! On the inside of the lid, I had written in shiny ink: “Emergency Toilet Kit — for when you absolutely can’t hold it or your pride.”
People were cracking up! One of the cousins pulled out their phone to take a picture.
Even Sage, who didn’t really get it, laughed just because everyone else was! “I thought of you right away when I saw this,” I told her. My MIL didn’t laugh.
She sat frozen, red in the face, holding the tiny plunger in her lap like it had insulted her whole family. “I want you to leave,” she said quietly, then louder as she stood up. “Get out of my house!”
The room went quiet again.
Jett didn’t hesitate. He stood up, grabbed his coat, and said to me, “You ready?”
“Always,” I said. We walked out to the car with Sage in silence.
Snow had started to fall, lightly covering the windshield. Jett started the engine and sat back for a moment before turning to me. “You know,” he said slowly, “that was… actually kind of awesome.”
I turned to him, surprised.
“You’re not mad?”
He shook his head. “She needed to be called out. I mean, the plunger bow?
Genius!”
I laughed and leaned back in my seat, finally relaxing. Ivy, of course, told the entire family that I ruined Christmas. She called Jett the next day, crying, saying I had embarrassed her in front of everyone.
He calmly said, “You embarrassed yourself when you wrecked our bathroom and didn’t say a word.”
She hung up. A week later, a card arrived in the mail. It was from Ivy, but it wasn’t sorry, just one sentence written in tight handwriting:
“Next time I’ll use the gas station.”
Inside was a 20-dollar bill and a coupon for carpet cleaner.
I stuck it to our fridge like a trophy. Jett and I still hosted Thanksgiving the following year, and guess what — Ivy used the bathroom at the start of the night, in and out in under three minutes. She left the door wide open behind her!