When only my husband and I lived in my house, it was always clean. But then his mate came and there were fights and arguments. My husband didn’t care how I felt or what I was going through. Things eventually came to a head when I took control of the situation.
When my husband invited his friend to move into our home, he did so without my consent. Little did I know that the presence of his long-time mate would turn into a nightmare. Circumstances forced me to take drastic measures to remedy the situation.
This is a picture of the bedroom after my husband’s best friend, Alex, stayed with us for a few weeks. I can’t describe the smell to you, but trust me, it’s disgusting and unbearable! Alex moved in with us because his house was undergoing major renovations.
To be honest, my husband invited his friend to live with us without discussing it with me. I was unhappy with this arrangement and asked: ‘How long will he live here? And why didn’t you talk to me before making such a drastic decision?’
‘I’m sorry, love. I wasn’t thinking straight. I let my excitement overwhelm me,’ he explained. The poor man looked sincere in his apology, and I gave in. What I didn’t realise was that it would be a big mistake on my part.
It was originally supposed to be a short-term arrangement, but weeks turned into months. My husband, Jake, decided it would be fun to have his best friend around. But he didn’t think about the extra work it would create for me.
‘Don’t worry, babe,’ Jake said the day Alex arrived, carrying his duffle bag and a box of video games. ‘It’ll be just like old times. We’re going to have a blast!’ He also vowed that they would stay away from me and not be annoying.
I forced myself to smile, but inside of me I was already squeezed tight from the mess and the thought of living with two men. Jake and Alex had been inseparable since college, united by their love of games and sports. I, on the other hand, loved peace and order.
In a matter of days, the house had been transformed, and not for the better! Empty beer bottles littered the living room, snack wrappers were everywhere, and Alex’s room was full of dirty laundry! Jake and Alex were staying up late.
Since the guest had arrived, all they did was play video games or drink beer together. Their laughter echoed through the house, and I tried to sleep with a pillow over my head. I was so depressed with all the extra cleaning I had to do.
Plus, I was starting to feel more and more alone. One evening, after a particularly long day at work, I found the kitchen a mess. Crumbs covered the counter, the sink was full of dirty dishes, and there was a mysterious sticky substance on the floor.
I couldn’t take it anymore! ‘This has to stop!’ I said to myself through clenched teeth and clenched fists. I decided to solve my problems with Alex alone with my husband. But he and his mate were clutching at his hip, and Jake was having a hard time being alone.
When I finally managed to find a small gap where my husband was alone, I decided to talk to him straight. ‘Jake, can we talk?’ I called out from the threshold of his home office, where he was immersed in his work while Alex was on his knees playing another video game in the living room.
‘Sure, babe. What’s up?’ – He said, not taking his eyes off the laptop screen. ‘I don’t have time to do all the cleaning. I need help.’ Jake interrupted his busyness and turned to me, waving his hand dismissively.
I have to say, I hadn’t expected him to react that way, and it really hurt me. Waving away my concerns, he replied, ‘Oh, don’t be so sullen! You just can’t accept that none of this is about you. Besides, it’s just another room to clean. It’s no big deal.’
His words hurt! I was about to say something back to him when I suddenly noticed that he had gone back to his work! He was no longer paying attention to my presence! I left feeling both angry and hurt. That night I lay awake listening to my childhood friends having fun!
That’s when I started planning my next move. I decided to show Jake what ‘no big deal’ really meant. I decided he needed to experience it first hand. The next morning I woke up early and picked up all of Alex’s rubbish.
Since they slept late, they woke up much later than I did. I collected the empty cans, dirty clothes, and half-eaten food and dumped it all in Jake’s office. By the time they woke up, the room looked like a war zone!
‘Hey, what the hell?’ – Shouted my husband from his office as soon as he opened the door. I knew that throwing all the junk in there would have the biggest effect since Jake worked from home. He needed that space to be functional.
I didn’t bother to respond or pay attention to him since I knew why he was yelling. Instead, Alex burst into the room and laughed, ‘Wow bro! Your office is a mess! You gotta do something about it if you want to have any work to do.’
And off he went to make breakfast and back to the couch! Jake didn’t confront me and just moved everything into one corner so he could come in and work. As time went on, dirty dishes, random socks, and leftovers accumulated in my husband’s office, which infuriated him.
‘I can’t work like this!!!’ – he yelled throughout the house. I walked in with a sweet smile. ‘It’s just one room that needs to be cleaned, Jake, so do it. It’s no big deal, right?’ My husband was furious, but he couldn’t argue with my logic. Alex, on the other hand, looked embarrassed.
‘Dude, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise it was that bad,’ he muttered. ‘Maybe you should help out more,’ I suggested and left them to deal with the mess. Things improved for a few days. Jake and Alex tried to keep the house clean, but their efforts were half-hearted at best.
The mess returned, and I felt my frustration growing again. One Friday night, I couldn’t take it anymore and lashed out at Jake. We had a huge fight and he accused me of not liking parties. Alex even tried to mediate, but since he was the main cause of our stress, I told him to stay out of it.
My husband tried to defend his friend, but that pissed me off even more. I decided that I had had enough! I packed my bag and called my best friend Lisa. ‘Can I sleep over at your place for the weekend?’ I asked. ‘Sure, honey. What’s going on?’ – she replied.
I explained the situation and she welcomed me with open arms. That weekend I enjoyed the peace and cleanliness of Lisa’s flat. I didn’t have to clean up after anyone and it was a much needed break.
Monday morning my phone rang from Jake. ‘Please come home,’ he begged, all desperate and ashamed. ‘The house is a disaster and I can’t find anything I need. Alex is impossible to live with!’ This man had the nerve to call me after being silent all weekend.
But I still felt a prick of sympathy, yet I remained adamant. ‘I’ll come back when the house is clean and Alex is gone.’ Jake sighed. ‘Okay, okay. We’ll clean it up right away. Just please come home tonight, love?’
‘I’ll think about it,’ I replied, not wanting to promise anything and make him think he’d won. To my surprise, a few minutes later he sent me a video of them cleaning the house. I decided not to respond to the message, but after discussing the matter with Lisa, I decided to go home.
When I returned later that day, I found the house was spotless! Jake and Alex had scrubbed every inch of it and my husband’s friend had packed his things. ‘Thank you for your hospitality,’ he said embarrassed. ‘I’ll find another place to stay until the renovations are done.’
When Alex left, Jake encased me in a hug. ‘I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t realise how big a job this is. I should have listened to you.’ I softened when I saw the genuine regret in his eyes. ‘It’s okay. I just need us to be a team, not you and Alex against me.’
Things got better from that day on. Jake made an effort to keep the house clean and helped out more. Our home became a place of peace again and our relationship grew even stronger.
This is a picture of the extra bedroom after my husband’s best friend stayed with us for a few months. I can’t describe the smell to you, but trust me, it’s bliss! Now the agony of Alex’s arrival was just a memory of a lesson learnt.
Jake smiled as he hugged me. ‘And we won’t forget him.’
Life had returned to normal, but the experience had brought us closer together. We learnt the importance of communicating and respecting each other’s space. And I realised that whatever challenges came our way, we could handle them together.
