When I opened the envelope, there was an unusual gift waiting for me. No, not money, a gift certificate or a ticket to dreamland. It was a booklet from a nursing home. I read it and couldn’t believe I wasn’t dreaming.
My daughter thought it was a great gift, so she smiled genuinely and watched my reaction. She started talking about how I would never be bored there, as there would be new friends and hobbies. Her voice was very distant.
I only nodded my head. I didn’t have the strength to answer her, for I felt a lump in my throat.
That night I didn’t leave my room at all. I felt so sad and hurt that I couldn’t hold back my tears. How could my beloved daughter do this to me?
By the way, at that time I was only 46 years old. I just felt free and started to make plans for my life, because finally I could think about myself. And my daughter decided that my life was reaching its end.
I thought about it all night and didn’t know what the right thing to do was. In the morning, I decided to send a message to my daughter. I didn’t want to argue with her or take offence – I just needed to clear something up.
‘Daughter, I still have so many plans and so many events I wish I had time to experience… So the best gift is believing in me, and taking care of a nice ending.’
Literally 15 minutes later, someone knocked on the door. It was the daughter. Her eyes were wet with tears. She rushed into her arms and whispered:
“I’m sorry, Mummy, for God’s sake. I wanted what was best for you, to keep you safe and cared for. But I forgot that you’re still very young, and you know what you need. I wanted to protect you by locking you in a cage, and you still have a long way to go.”
At that moment, I instantly stopped resenting her. I realised that she wasn’t trying to get rid of me. Her daughter had simply shown her care and love, but had not clarified with me what I needed now.
We then had a very long talk about life to avoid similar situations in the future. She realised that I need moral support, not physical. I like my freedom and strength, and in general 46 years old is not old.
Since then our relationship has fundamentally changed. My daughter now treats me differently and respects me for my courage and determination. I, on the other hand, finally feel happy and alive. How much I had missed that in my life!
Sometimes people close to us hurt us unintentionally. Not out of malice, but out of great love. We should be brave enough to talk about our feelings and desires so that they recognise us and are not afraid to hurt us. It is not necessary to keep elderly parents under a hood – they like to fly and be happy more.
