A woman experiences a rude awakening in a cafe and decides to do something about it. The first person to leave was her husband, but did he deserve it?
Debra was a 52-year-old woman who was very young at heart. Although she was in her fifties, she didn’t consider herself an old woman – not that she had much time to think about it, since she had to work three jobs to support her family.
Her husband, Austin, gradually became a financial burden after he lost his job more than two decades ago.
At first he spent all his time unsuccessfully looking for a new job, but after a while he stopped looking. Austin gradually got used to a dependent life without any responsibilities, and gradually his hobby became lying on the sofa in front of the TV, drinking beer and eating crisps.
His body was the first to change, and then everything else. He was fed and clothed despite no longer working.
It was a dream come true for a man who had always been lazy at heart. Thanks to Debra working various jobs, he had enough of everything, but he didn’t seem to notice how hard she worked.
They married when they were barely old enough: Debra was 19 and he was 20, and they were completely in love with each other.
It was this love that Debra thought about as she continued to hope that Austin would start looking for work again. She didn’t even stop to support him in those moments when their relatives were making friendly fun of him.
They got married so early because she was pregnant with their daughter Kayla. Of course, there would have been consequences if they hadn’t married, but their love made it an easy and even natural decision.
Their daughter, like them, also married early and had a child who grew up without a father because he divorced Kayla.
Left alone with the child and unable to go out to work because of the minor child in her care, Kayla needed help and Debra was the one she asked for.
Being a reliable mother, Debra decided to help her financially by giving Kayla a steady allowance to support herself and the child.
Not once did the steady cash allowance ever change, and it made Kayla complacent about finding her own source of income. She stopped looking for a suitable job and began to rely solely on the allowance she was receiving.
It went on like this for a long time, until one day a painful realisation hit Debra. It was a day like any other: the woman left the house early and walked into Starbucks for a coffee.
Once inside the cafe, she joined the three-person queue and stood patiently waiting for her turn, keeping her eyes on the clock.
‘Gordon will eat me alive if I’m late today,’ she thought to herself.
Her boss knew how many jobs she worked and usually gave her a break, but Debra realised she’d been out of luck the last few days. As she tapped her feet impatiently, several teenagers brazenly entered the café and cut into the queue just as it was her turn.
The cashier, a young man with a bored expression, said nothing and just started serving them. Debra couldn’t believe her eyes.
‘Excuse me?’ – She said through clenched teeth. ‘Can’t you see I’m standing here? It was my turn!’
‘Excuse me, ma’am, but babies will be babies, right?’ – said the man behind the counter, smiling awkwardly.
‘What are you doing anyway?’ – One of the teenagers asked.
‘Yeah, do you have somewhere to go?’ – said the other mockingly.
‘I don’t think pensioners need to go anywhere in a hurry,’ said a third teenager.
‘You can queue all day if you want,’ they said with glee as they moved to the other end to pick up their orders. Debra had never encountered such unruly kids before, and it shocked her, but not as much as what they were saying.
When she got back to the car, she took a long look at herself in the mirror. The woman she saw looked very tired. There were many wrinkles on her face, and her dark hair was gradually turning grey. Debra couldn’t remember when the grey strands had first appeared, and it reminded her of how much she had neglected herself.
‘I can’t even remember the last time I was at the hairdresser’s,’ she thought in despair.
That thought made her wonder what she had been doing all this time, and the answer immediately appeared – working out.
It really upset her, and she realised that all she had done all her life was trying to please her family to the detriment of her own well-being. ‘This has to end,’ she told herself.
The first thing Debra did was to call her daughter to inform her of her decision.
‘Hi Mum, I was just about to call you,’ Kayla said as soon as she picked up the phone. ‘I was hoping you could send me my allowance before Friday?’
‘No, Kayla, I won’t do that,’ Debra said, annoyed that her daughter wouldn’t even let her get a word in edgewise.
‘What, Mum, why?’ complained Kayla.
‘Because you’ve become too content with your position in life. It’s time for you to wake up.’
‘What are you saying, Mum?’
‘I’m saying that as of today, your allowance stops and you won’t be receiving it anymore. If you need the money, go outside and work.’
With those words Debra hung up the phone and went in search of a beauty parlour where she had her hair coloured and then had a nice haircut, manicure and a host of other treatments.
She switched off the phone to enjoy what was a new experience for her and afterwards went to the shopping centre and bought herself some beautiful dresses, one of which she decided to go home in. Her old clothes did not leave the mall with her.
When she got home, her husband, who had taken a call from her boss that had been forwarded to their landline, asked where she had been.
‘Your two bosses said you didn’t show up for your shift,’ Austin said, sitting on the couch. When he turned to look at Debra, he coughed from the chips he had just swallowed.
‘Debs, is that you?’ – He asked, eyes wide.
‘Yeah, it’s me,’ she replied stiffly.
‘Have you been out shopping for clothes and stuff when you’re supposed to be working?’ – He asked angrily.
She gave him a vague answer, but he started berating her for how much money she wasted buying herself all those pretty things.
They were just having a conversation about it when Kayla walked in with all the confidence of a righteous man caught in the middle. ‘Why did you cut my allowance?’ – She asked, not taking her eyes off the room.
After a moment, she appreciated her mother’s new look and noted how convenient it was for her to spend so much on herself while refusing to help her.
Debra took a while to calm down before explaining to her daughter what had happened. The girl was still trying to contain her shock when her mother turned to her father and announced her desire for a divorce.
‘I’m tired of cleaning up after you, Austin,’ she said. The man was shocked. He couldn’t understand why she was suddenly turning against them, but Debra wouldn’t back down.
‘For the past two decades, I’ve carried the financial burden of this family. But now I am tired and would like to put that energy into myself,’ Debra said with tears in her eyes. It felt like an admission of defeat, but what choice did she have? Those she had fought for had long since given up.
‘I want you to leave,’ she said.
‘What, you can’t mean that,’ Austin said.
‘Yes,’ she said and walked past him to get to their room. After that night, Austin’s wounded pride caused him to move out of their house without trying to beg forgiveness, and Kayla stopped asking Debra for money.
A month later, Debra quit her hard and unloved job and took a job that actually brought her passion. She lived her life, travelled the world and helped her daughter care for her grandson when she could.
Debra never regretted her decision to divorce her husband, although he begged her to come back after he found a job. ‘I’ll keep your offer in mind,’ she told him, and he hasn’t stopped trying to earn it since.
What can we learn from this story?
Self-love is non-negotiable. Debra sacrificed herself for her family without thinking about herself until her unwed children pointed out to her how much it was affecting her. Her awakening brought about change and she was able to start living for herself again.
Never stop trying. Kayla and Austin gave up so easily because they were getting everything they needed thanks to Debra, who never complained. They forgot that the only way to move forward was to try, but luckily Debra was there to remind them of that.
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