After giving birth, David lost his wife Joan and couldn’t even look at their baby or sort through her things. But after working with a therapist, he finally started sorting through his wife’s things. He charged her phone and discovered several text messages that changed everything.
‘Despite our best efforts, we were unable to save your wife. She’s gone, sir.’
Those dreadful words echoed in David’s head several times a day since his beautiful daughter was born. But he couldn’t even look at her as he left the hospital. He was so devastated that his darling Joan was no longer alive. Thankfully, his mother took over the child’s care as best she could.
David did the minimum possible, so deeply immersed in his grief that he couldn’t see anything around him. But one day his mother couldn’t take it anymore and insisted that he see a therapist immediately. He agreed and began seeing a specialist, working on his despair.
Finally, he felt there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and although the doctor’s words still echoed in his head often, they didn’t affect him as much now.
His mother was proud of him, but David still hesitated to hold his baby in his arms. He was still working on himself with the therapist. Maybe I’ll hold her in my arms someday. Or maybe I should just give her to someone who will be a better parent, he sometimes thought.
But he quickly pushed that thought away. Today was about something else. He was going to sort through Joan’s things, organise them and give some of them to charity.
He hadn’t even touched her hospital bag since he’d brought it home with the baby. It had been too painful. But for the first time in three months, he was finally brave enough to do it. He opened the bag and found her mobile phone there. The battery had died during labour and hadn’t charged since.
He plugged the phone into the charger and started sorting through Joan’s things. An hour later he picked up the phone again and noticed several missed calls and messages.
At first some of the messages were congratulations because Joan’s friends knew she had given birth. But one of her friends, Melissa, continued to text her even after the news of her death had spread throughout their social circle.
‘I’m not the only one who misses her,’ he thought as he looked through the messages, smiling at the fact that his wife had some great friends. But something in one of the messages made him frown.
‘Sorry you sacrificed your life…’ – Melissa wrote.
David didn’t understand. Joan had died due to an unexpected complication. But something about the message struck him as odd. It was as if Melissa knew that Joan would die in childbirth. He had to find out more, and so he scrolled up the chat room to the top of their correspondence.
Most of the messages were about Joan’s pregnancy, how excited she was, how curious she was about it all, how her baby would be the best and most beautiful in the world. But a few months later, the correspondence took a different turn.
‘The doctors said something scary,’ Joan wrote.
‘What, what’s going on? Are you okay?’ – Melissa asked her, concern clearly evident in her message.
‘They said my blood pressure is high and I may develop pre-eclampsia. The doctor said I need to terminate the pregnancy,’ Joan replied.
‘No. Honey, that’s terrible. But what if you die? What did David say?’ – Melissa enquired.
‘He wasn’t with me. I haven’t told him. He dreams so much about having a baby. We’ve been trying for ten years, Melissa. I can’t terminate this pregnancy,’ Joan objected.
‘Joan, you could die! He wouldn’t want that. He loves you!’
‘I know, Mel. But this is our baby. I love him or her. I’m willing to take the risk,’ Joan replied.
David couldn’t believe it. His wife had risked her life, despite the doctors’ warnings, to please him. It was true. He really had longed so much to be a father, and now he felt ashamed. He hadn’t touched his child since they left the hospital.
The rest of the correspondence consisted of Melissa asking Joan if she felt fine. Joan always replied that she felt fine, but that the doctor had said there might not be any obvious symptoms. David couldn’t remember if the doctors said anything about pre-eclampsia, but he stopped listening when he was informed that his wife had died.
‘What am I going to do now?’ – he asked himself, putting the phone down. ‘Will I let my mother raise the child that Joan sacrificed her life for?’
David burst into tears, but this time he didn’t drown in self-pity. This time his tears were a release, a thank you to his late wife for her sacrifice and a symbol of determination. He was going to be the best father in the world. Their daughter, Georgina Joan Sanders, would grow up surrounded by love and stories about her amazing mother. He would make sure of that.
He picked up his phone and dialled the mother’s number. ‘Mum, bring the baby over. I’m ready.’
‘Oh, thank goodness!’ – exhaled the older woman, nearly crying.
What can we learn from this story?
Honour the sacrifices your spouse makes for you. Even if your spouse is still alive, you need to understand all the gifts they do for you on a daily basis. You need to be grateful.
See a therapist when you need to. David couldn’t have dealt with his grief without help, and he was brave enough to see a therapist instead of drowning in grief.
Share this story with your friends. It may lift their spirits and inspire them.
