Being a parent is like getting on a roller coaster and having no idea when it will end. It has its ups and downs, twists and turns, and sometimes more surprises than you were ready for. There’s no one way to describe what it’s like to be a parent or what a typical day with kids is like, but luckily you don’t have to try to explain it one way. Wink found 22 parents who have done that for you in perfect, bite-size tweets.
1. They put down their true feelings.
I wish adults could write poems as honest as this.
My son the poet pic.twitter.com/PsroWI61Po
— ceeks (@70Ceeks) March 19, 2015
2. They make so much sense.
I never thought about it like that!
Asked my 5 yo brother why he was changing clothes to go out 5 hours from now and he said "if you stay ready you don't have to get ready"
— Rush Hour 2 (2001) (@jodecicry) August 13, 2015
3. Fanny pack–induced concern.
Me too, to be honest.
I worry about people with fanny packs. — my eleven year old son
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) October 3, 2015
4. Shadows are pretty freaky if you think about it.
They see everything.
To anyone out there thinking about having kids, today my 2 year old threw a temper tantrum because she couldn’t get rid of her shadow.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 23, 2013
He’s knows them.
My 2-y-o can figure out how to work the TV remote, but can't find his mouth while eating spaghetti.
— Matt Brennan (@SpiralingMatt) June 14, 2015
6. Might sound crazy
But works every time.
5yo and her friend just ended an argument by deciding they would "have a piece of cheese and calm down"
So, yeah, she's mine.
— Mom Psychologist (@mompsychologist) June 14, 2016
7. Uh oh…
I think I might have let the love of my life slip away.
5-year-old daughter: I think a boy likes me. He drew me a dinosaur.
Me: That could mean anything.
5: The dinosaur had a hat.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 25, 2015
8. Just in case you forgot.
And needed to know while on the toilet.
Me: [in bathroom]
7yo: [knocks] MOMMY?
Me: Yeah pal
7: IT'S ME
Me: I know
7: YOUR SON
Me: Knew that too
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 19, 2016
9. Kids ask the craziest questions.
But ones I would actually like to know the answer to.
— rachel rw (@baroquerw) June 25, 2016
10. How do you even know what hair tastes like?
Never mind. I don’t want to know.
Roasted broccoli for dinner tonight, and the rave reviews are in.
"What is this? It tastes like hair," said one ungrateful child.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) July 15, 2015
11. You act like this is only a child’s thought process.
I wish I had the option of 6 or 100 more of anything.
I wish I could have a couple couple couple, like 5, like 6, like…100 more chips!
— shitmykid_says (@shitmykid_says) August 29, 2009
12. You have to give them credit
It’s better that they asked late rather than never.
KIDS: [from the kitchen] dad…may we have ice cream?
ME: no you may not
K: dad…may we be forgiven if we already had ice cream?
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) June 9, 2016
13. Children are so innovative.
But sometimes they should try less.
3yo (in bathroom): Mummy, can I put this sticker on Daddy's card?
Me (in bed): Yes.
3yo: Will he love it?
Me: Yes. pic.twitter.com/TJepUORQwH
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) June 21, 2015
14. Say goodbye to sleep.
Kids are just so… so… Awake in the mornings
— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) July 11, 2013
15. Joke’s on you!
Mommy has dreamed about this moment.
My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) February 1, 2014
16. Pretty much the same thing.
Especially when they start speaking in tongues.
Apparently a 2 year old getting her hair washed and an exorcism sound oddly similar.
— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) March 30, 2014
17. Just keep smiling.
Even if no one is having fun.
My Daughter and my modeling submissions for JCPenney. Sure hope we get picked. pic.twitter.com/9EugCNgPkB
— Tara Brown (@Faux_Ma) August 17, 2013
18. It affects the taste.
Who in their right mind would eat squares anyway?
Hell hath no fury like a 4 year old whose sandwich has been cut into squares when he wanted triangles.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 23, 2014
19. A better meal than I could ever make.
I am impressed and jealous that I didn’t think of it first.
I let my 3-year-old make her own dinner.
She put candy corn on top cold pizza
The apprentice has become the master. pic.twitter.com/RUNzffFLIT
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) August 13, 2015
20. Babies teach you how to do new things every day.
But you will forget what it’s like to have a hot meal.
Another surprise benefit of having a baby is using my new swaddling skills to roll a tight, tight burrito.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 24, 2015
21. Ma’am, is this your child?
Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that's not allowed if the baby is yours.
— Ilana Wiles (@mommyshorts) February 12, 2014
22. Mommy, what is like to be you?
Well, hold on!
My kids wanted to know what it's like to be a Mom so I woke them up at 2am to let them know my sock came off.
— ?Sarcastic Mommy? (@sarcasticmommy4) May 10, 2016