Have you ever been on a really, really bad date? Like, a date so bad you’d rather clean the bathroom floors with your tongue or breastfeed a crocodile? Well, you’re not alone.
Dating is can be a tough gig, and you never really know how it’s gonna turn out. Maybe next time try out one of these awesome tricks from Twitter’s #ExcusesToLeaveMyDate.
1. You could go with the Borne Identity style of excuse.
Or, depending on what you’re like, you could be a paranoid conspiracy theorist. Make sure to bring that tinfoil hat!
2. You could always try to go for the power play
I’m sure people would be fine with being a «practice date» of sorts, right? Either way, who cares, just get outta there!
3. Of course, there’s always the Cinderella clause.
The problem with this is that you’d have to stay ’til midnight. Maybe just ask your fairy godmother to bibbidi-bobbidi-bust your way outta there.
4. Maybe just let them know that duty calls and you’re needed.
That way you don’t seem like a jerk — in fact, you’re a superhero! And your date could be in danger… gotta go!
5. Sometimes you gotta act tough — you know, scare them off, probably.
If you’re thinking, «what did I get myself into?» then just make them ask the same thing, but scarier.
6. Other times, all it takes are those six, simple words.
Hopefully you don’t actually have a wife, but if you do, all the more reason to leave that date immediately!
7. Here’s a solid, basic excuse that can fit pretty much any of us.
And if there is pizza on the menu, get into an argument about pineapple and storm off.
8. Your babies, fur or otherwise, are always a good way out.
Anyone who has cats will understand. And if they don’t understand your kitten-related priorities, you don’t need ’em!
9. Again, sometimes the dark, scary route, is the quickest way to get out.
They’ll be torn since, yes, having prisoners is awful, but you are feeding them, which is sweet.
10. Here’s a reasonable excuse these days, but would probably only apply once a year or so.
«Brace yourselves, excuses are coming.»
«In the game of dating, you win or you cry.»
11. Then there’s the ol’ bait and switch.
The more confused you can leave somebody, the less likely they’ll be to respond or stop you. Just say this and slowly back away.
12. Everyone’s heard this line before, but probably never believed it. You could be the first to take it seriously!
Whoa, what an unbelievable phone call! I really gotta go, sorry!
13. It’s good to be honest about your intentions on a date.
A lot of us are in it for the breadsticks and— wait, this was written by an actual squirrel, wasn’t it?
14. Always make sure they know where your priorities lie.
«Yeah, also, my Netflix is really insecure — it keeps asking me if I’m still watching, I don’t wanna let it down.»
15. Every now and then someone calls in a favor — you can’t just say no to that, right?
Especially if it’s someone as important as your dog! If she loses her job, she’s boned!
16. And lastly, of course, you can always just be totally straight up with the person.
«Sorry to call off this date, but I have an excuse to get to… bye.»